


seasonal depression

by taigawara



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Gen, Happy Ending, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27884143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taigawara/pseuds/taigawara
Summary: seasonal depression (SAD)‘a mood disorder [characterized by depression] that occurs at the same time every year’usually self-diagnosable,Keisuke Unnan suffers from it
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	seasonal depression

It’s not the fatigue that slows him down and leaves him bedridden, a feeling never brought on by intense practice or 24 hours of work. It’s not the hopelessness, either, of never getting up and being productive again. It’s not his lack of appetite or bursts of anger or even the tears that quietly slip and roll down his face. The lack of concentration or sudden weight gain isn’t near what makes him the most upset. It’s the fact that he can’t see his friends when he’s stuck in a state like this. A pale body rolled over.

The heating hadn’t been turned on in a year. He shivered under the heavy blanket he was thankful to have while the sun fell on his face. The window didn’t have blinds. Thankful enough to be off the ground level, it still didn’t stop the weather from beating through. If not for a kind landlord who knew him over the years, there would be no guarantee that his room even had electricity. It hadn’t been tested in days. Bills hadn’t been spoken of in months, but money kept disappearing. It wasn’t to provide food for the fridge, or ingredients in the pantries that had a layer of dust resting upon them. It wasn’t for the water that hadn’t met a drain in weeks, nor was it for the clothes lying in many piles on the floor. Like the feeling in his body, it just kept disappearing.

The more he shook, the wider his eyes got, the more the cogs turned, the worse he felt. Shaky arms, bare of any cotton or cloth, covered and squeezed the pillow he soundlessly cried on. A tight hug, one he couldn’t give with love. Light from outside was the only warmth he received, and the only sense of comfort he felt. Rusty gears, which should’ve stopped, defied the odds and ran again. Cargo unwanted. It took the nearest cliff down.

Who would want to visit someone who can’t get out of bed in the morning? Hell, forget morning. When was the last time he got up at all? His body was rotting, bones popping, muscle softening, and he was fine with that. He didn’t need to move. He didn’t want to. There was no reason to. A wet face buried itself into the dent of a pillow. This was a normal winter day.

The doorbell rang. A noise still somewhat unfamiliar - he was usually the one to ring others. He didn’t budge. He wasn’t paying his bills today, they could try again later.

It rang once more. Feet shifted under the covers. They were freezing, tinted blue, but no one saw that. There was no feeling anymore. He hadn’t looked down before.

Three. Tired eyes landed on the bedroom door, then on the chains keeping him to his bed. Blink, blink again. Another ring. He pushed himself to his chest. That should’ve been the last one.

Banging. The person wouldn’t stop. The door could fall down if left unhandled. The neighbors would complain. A hand pushed Unnan out from the shelter of the blanket, now stained with emotions he couldn’t identify. It threw him a shirt and some drawers, the ones that seemed the cleanest and softest. It even opened the first door for him, leaving him staring into his empty kitchen.

It had been so long, he forgot this is what it looked like. He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to rid the stains with dry skin. Everything went quiet, and all that was heard was his breathing. So the person had left already. Even though unwilling to get out initially, his heart still sank. Finally making progress, he was about to fall two flights back down.

Then, a familiar voice.

_“Hey, let me in already! It’s cold out here!”_

...Huh?

He shook, stumbling forward. His eyes grew wide, brimming with new tears. The cogs turned, racing with newfound speed. He had never felt better.

_“I got some sn-”_

The lock was undone in seconds. He flew into jacket padded arms. Bags rustled and fell to the floor, just as their bodies did too. It felt better than his bed.

Minutes went by without another word. This was a scene known to both of them, playing out slightly differently every year. Here, there were muffled sobs. A bag of seafood flavored chips, with crab legs and mollusks on the front. Soda shook too much. Mami gave one last squeeze, full of love. He reached for the items he had bought, a smile shining bright.

_"Want some?”_

Spring had come.


End file.
